Thursday, December 18, 2008
My school babes and I had our utmost fun the whole day yesterday and today. & right now I'm so shagged, I can hardly move. My eyes are so heavy yet I still wanna blog about this. It was supposedly a 3 days 2 nights "CAMPING" thingy but things happened without it being expected and futhermore, our body aren't used to this wee hour breeze by the beach that's so freaking damn cold, I peed more than 4 times. I even had a farting spell on me and it continued till this morning. As usual, we crapped about almost anything and everything and as usual it will most of the times be just the 3 of us (Me, Wani and Shiff), there will be 4 of us but never FIVE. The other two usually take turns. Hmmm. I really have nothing much to say coz I didn't want anything to spoil the excitement in me. So we bought lotsa food to get us through the night, warning each and everyone not to fall asleep or else... & etc. Camwhoring, a game of twister, dancing, laughing, singing and simply enjoying our "GIRLS NIGHT".
It was funny when it was already 5 plus in the morning, we were so shagged but still unable to sleep due to the temperature of the current surrounding; even the air con doesn't do that wonder! & of course, what made things worst, a group of to-be-no-future-matreps and a CHOIR of Bangladashimama KANINAS disturbed our sleeping time. Firstly, the to-be-no-future-matreps have been tailing my two girls from cheers and kept passin by our tent to check if they're in there. How irritating! Firstly, you lil dickies are not of legal age, secondly, it really ain't impressive at all; Z-E-R-O. So quit trying lah BOY.
Next, this group of Bangladeshis consisting of about 7-8 of them sitting in a circle a few metres away from our tent singing; prolly their National Anthem. So tell me, what would you feel if you were us? I tried to stay calm and try to deafen my ears but however I got so cranky because I couldn't sleep, I shouted " HOI! Can you like shut the fuck up! People are trying to sleep. KANINNNA." & yes, they kept quiet. _________ bunch of ________. I know it's public but singing your lungs out at 5 plus in the morning is just ridiculous! Fortunately, at around 6 everything was peaceful. Maybe because the lil dickies has to be back home before their parents wake up to go to work and then the Banglas have work later.
& so, the 2nd night which is supposed to be tonight was supposed to be spent with Kid, but however at the state I am in, once I sleep I guess I'll never wake up till the next morning. & as per norm, some misunderstanding/miscommunications between us and now it's cancelled. Furthermore, he is pressurised at work so I guess I better stay away and keep my mouth shut. Hmmms.
Okaye, I really really really really wana sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!
Dear babes, thanks for all the encouragements and words of wisdom, comforts and everything nice on the tag board. I really appreciate it. Love you guys so much!!!!
Anyways Shiff, I hope your dad gets well soon. Take care darl!
Pictures to be uploaded soon.
Labels: LONG ENTRY
Dead & gone. || 2:38 PM
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Honestly, I'm not at the right state of mind.
My period is giving me the worst ever stomach cramps and backache that I feel so helpless. Sighs. I didn't attend school today and received a message from my teacher. Everybody has their worsts moments and I'm having one right now. I know I'll be fine soon. I have to be strong. I hope he is too. I'm a liar if I say I don't miss him or think about him, coz I still do. & I know he is firm about what he says that he'll never appear in my life again. Though I hate that, well I'm the one who asked for it. Too late for regrets Nabila.
Labels: Kid
Dead & gone. || 11:10 AM
Monday, December 8, 2008
Abang found out that I skipped work last Saturday. Coz Kak Ana was working too on that day obviously abang will find out anything about me. I told my brother to keep it hush as I don't want mom to be disappointed or think that I'm doing all these on purpose. I guess abang understands me and he did keep it hush.
I woke up super early today, at around 8? The weather is so perfect but I've slept more that 8 hours that is. I had lontong for breakfast and surfed the net till now. My life is so mundane. I'm not gonna spend on anything else as of today. I mean, in terms of emergencies, then I'll use the money. This will help when I'm no longer working because going out is a MUST! :P
I feel like dressing up to work today. There will be visitors tomorrow and I hate it when that happens. It's funny also to see how the managers are trying to suck up to the higher authorities. Especially that fat pig and horse. These two are so dammmnneed at work. Why? Because they are just two faced bitches and inhuman. Oh, I forgot they are robots with no feelings and obviously no life. No wonder they are still unmarried at the age of late 30's. Pathetic bunch of oldmaids. Well, I'm leaving soon. Enough of this shit! If you're working under retail, you will never see a future for yourself. It's fine if you're doing it as a part time job but never make it your permanent or you'll end up like these people who only wants to make more and more money but never use it coz they don't believe in holidays. How sad can that be? Guess the whole shit of money is for them to bury/burn together when life has come to a stop for them.
I feel so evil right now that I'll make sure no one can bring me down at work today. No, not even customers. I'll make life difficult for them indirectly. & who the fuck came up with this phrase that Customers are always right?! It's such a stupid phrase that people who are serving these kaninas feel like they are slaves. This phrase is such a bad phrase. It'll just make these cbs think that they have the right to disrespect you because they are always right? It'll just defeat the purpose of giving good service to fugly customers. I'm being racist right now. Especially the Indians and Chinese. These fucking fuglies thinks they are so rich but so fucking cheapskates! If you have so much money then use it. Some high standard malays too are no better. Fuck the rich. Doesn't mean you're rich you have the fucking right to disrespect someone. Please eh, when it comes to doomsday, you're just like the other zillions here. So please, be holy and smack the shit out of yourselves so you can come to your senses. Idiots.
Dead & gone. || 9:51 AM
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I guess the $56.50 was worth it. My cough is getting lesser and it's a great feeling. Only that the medicines are so strong that it causes drowsiness, tremors and palpitation. That's exactly what I'm feeling right now.
I have work tomorrow but my Manager's on off. I can't wait to tell her about my resignation. If I really need the money, I guess I'll just have to look for other jobs. I don't mind if the pay's lesser than what Borders is offering just as long as I don't have to tire my guts out.
I stayed home the whole day because I think I really need the rest and also because mom is sick. She has tonsils too and might have to go for tonsillectomy just like me and Irfan. I'm starting to wonder if this is genetic? When mom is sick, I just can't bear to leave Irfan all by himself. When this happens, I start to hate my sister. She doesn't know how to prioritize her responsibilities well. Furthermore, I just hate her stupid boyfriend. Irfan is growing as the days goes by. He's turning 7 next year and I can see that he is such a bright boy just like his mother. Sometimes I look at Irfan and my tears would just start to trickle down my cheek. I hope his father dies soon. Although sometimes Irfan can be very irritating, he's the light of everyone's life in this house. I love him so much that I'm willing to sacrifise my outings just to be his company. He may be oblivious but he really knows how to comfort someone when they are down. Like the other day when I was so down and out, he came up to me and said " Ila, baby sayaaang ila" and he gave me a sweet that he got from the doctor. He is such an adorable little weirdo. ((:
Amir's off to indonesia with his family. He texted me before he went off and that's very sweet of him. Honestly, I don't feel that there is a need for feelings to develop because somehow me and him are like good friends now. & I'm happy for the way it is right now. As for Kid, he has been trying very hard to make things work but here I am not putting in any effort. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I just need a little more time to tell him the truth. Oh wells, I just don't know why we girls (some) are so thoughtful of someone else feelings when some guys are plain bastards. Sheesh. This is life.
This week will be the last week of school and I am so elated. Furthermore, my 18th birthday is coming soon! I really² want to have a talk with my parents about my curfews etc, since I'm turning into a legal age. & I really hope I can make it to Higher Nitec and then poly. I'm thinking of retaking my english coz the 7 is such an awful thing.
Tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji and when I heard the Takbir, suddenly it reminds me of the loved ones that are now gone. How I miss my grandfather and great grandfather. :(
Dead & gone. || 8:53 PM
I'm going back on words. I take back my last post.
Dear Gfs, if you're invited, you should know by now that you are the most important people in my life. The ones I can always relate to when I'm having problems or whatsoever. I don't want the whole world to know what's happening in my life especially the people who don't deserve to know. This is also for safety reasons(I trust you babes!) and also because even if we rarely have the time to catch up with each other, it's the only way for you guys to be updated about me. Lastly, I love you babes so much!
Well yesterday or shall I say a few hours ago, I was supposed to be going to work but instead I took MC which cost me $56.50 just for a bloody MC! I was at my last resort! I just can't take it anymore. I hate work so much right now and I've finally decided that I'll take my leave after Christmas. Also because I wasn't feeling that well. Partly because I was nervous and partly because I was just confused, lost and restless. I didn't tell mom that I was on MC and instead I was out with Amir and his parents. Yes, I can't believe it either. Honestly, I miss the attention. It's not that Kid doesn't give me his full attention but I want to have a fun life where we would go through things together. I want to explore places together, someone to bring me where I've not been to, someone who will decide most of the times. Kid doesn't give me that. Well it's not his fault and I did give him a chance to change but it seems that it's just stagnant. I just don't know why. I love him but I think I don't love him like he loves me. I know it' hurtful and I just don't know how to break it to him. I don't want to see tears but there has got to be a start somewhere. But how do I make him understand because he just don't. Whenever I tried to talk him, in the end he will always make me feel guilty. It's hard. His family, it's the total opposite of mine. Yes everyone's different but I just don't feel right whenever I'm around his family. Not that I wana rake up the past but I still can't forget what his parents said about me. I just don't feel like facing them again coz it really hurts me. How do I tell him all that? Seriously, am I such a bad person. Will Karma come back at me? Today, it's our 3rd monthsary and look where we are now. Sighs.
Anyways, after Amir's parents drop me off my place, instead of heading home I went to meet farah and her ex-colleague; Foz to chill. From embarrasing moments to freaky experiences till 12 midnight. Was early for home from "WORK". & I find my dad sitting in the living room watching TV & obviously I reeked of cigarrattes. Dad didn't look please eventhough I tried to strike a conversation. Sighs. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. Finally, the medicines are taking effects on me. I guess I'll go to sleep now. I thank god I'm on off tomorrow! Oh my. Goodnight sayangs.
There, I've let it all out.
Labels: spillit invites
Dead & gone. || 2:07 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
This will be the last post as of today. I'm never gonna blog anything about my life or whatsoever.
Dead & gone. || 10:38 PM
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Maybe I should just bury my phones. They are all dying. Friends, pardon me if I seem to be some ignorant shit not replying or returning calls; the phone just sucks and I'm pissed already.
Those are the overdue pictures and also pictures taken just now at Explorerkid. Had a lovely time there with sister, shiffy, Ifan and Amil. I'm now, exhausted. :(
Dead & gone. || 10:19 PM